Updated: Nov 17, 2019
Friends and family, I have a question for you: Are you having a hard time allowing yourself to remember her late husband? Your friend? Your brother? Your cousin? Have you removed his pictures? Do you walk away from discussions about him? To say that I understand would be lying. When you do that, it disrespects his widow. It makes her feel invisible and not only that, imagine how it would make her children, their children, feel. I felt that I needed to address the elephant in the room. (But in this case, it’s the late husband who is missing) Here are a few things you can do to not disrespect his widow and his memory: *Please respect the fact that his widow will post on social media - sometimes several times a day - just let her. *Allow his widow to talk about him - she needs to. And if she suddenly sidetracks the conversation about him, let her. *His children need to see and hear that you care. *Allow his widow to date. If she discusses her dating life, let her. *Allow her to be happy, healed, and most of all, human. Keep in mind family and friends: Don’t EVER give his widow a timeline to heal or “move on”... ever. You’re not in her shoes so you can’t feel what she’s feeling. If YOU can’t talk about his death, then how can there be healing for you? As we enter into this new year, consider this vow: Say his name. Signed, His widow.