I Left the Church When He Died

Updated: Nov 16, 2019


I’m reading the Book of James, which focuses on practical action in the life of faith as part of the Threshing Floor Bible Walk-thru initiative with our partner, The Bounce Back Project with Maya Tyler. My Scripture for this Thursday’s study is: James 2:26 “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.” My devotion title is called, Work It! I consider myself a Christian. To be honest, at one point, I wanted to be a licensed minister. My walk has changed throughout the years since the death of my husband seven years ago. One major change that occurred was that I changed churches - I could no longer attend the church that helped me, came to my home with groceries, gave me money, organized the funeral and tended to my every need. Yes, this particular church took care of me - but I still left them.  

I was an active leader.

I was a dedicated minister of the gospel and servant-leader.

I was on my way to getting licensed in the Pentecostal Church

They did me well.

But I still left.  

I couldn’t bear looking at the empty chair any longer.

He wasn’t there.

He wasn’t there to read a scripture or to be called weekly to deliver a touching and moving prayer that brought tears to the entire congregation.

His prayers moved mountains. There were no more Sunday outings to dinner, driving straight home was the norm; I’m in a totally different space now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still connected to God and I still attend church - it’s my personal choice - but my focus has changed. I’ve embedded into my daily mantra that it’s ok to experience and accept change. It’s ok to listen to that still small voice - that 'unction' inside of you telling you there’s more to do, and more to experience in spite of your grief. Albeit, it may be difficult at first but you have to allow yourself to try. You MUST have faith and do the WORK. I left, but I still stayed faithful and started a new beginning. My personal example is the church. And yours, well, it may be any form of movement from one space to another, an occupation or even a change in looks. Whatever it is, work it well. You won’t know if you don’t work it. Remember, faith endures most in the midst of trials and you can get through this with prayer, faith and incredible calm & peace. -Sabra 

#griefinthechurch #leavingthechurchduringgrief #churchwidow #ThreshingFloorThursday

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